Contra

Husbometer check-in:

Category Date Score Week
Sex (Quantity, Quality) 11/3/18 0.9 7
Communication 11/3/18 0.6 7
Chores 11/3/18 0.6 7
Fitness & Health 11/3/18 0.8 7
Finances 11/3/18 0.5 7
Trust 11/3/18 0.6 7
Dealing w/ Everybody Else 11/3/18 0.7 7
Food 11/3/18 0.8 7
Little things 11/3/18 0.7 7

Soon I’ll start blogging about NaNoWriMo too. I think one important thing in marriage is to keep doing interesting things (by and for yourself).

Tonight, David and I went to a contra dance in the west village. It was so much fun!

Contra dance
I spy David!

Afterward, we went to John’s of Bleecker Street for some renowned NYC pizza.

The contra reminded me of our wedding dances.

And WOAH!

We’re halfway through the FIRST 100 DAYS OF MARRIAGE!

Family

I am presenting a lightning talk and poster for the upcoming Academic Libraries Conference: The Library is Open hosted by the Empire State Library Network.


Lightning Talk
Open-Ended and User-Focused: Design Thinking for Library Management

Abstract:  Design thinking methods are a huge asset to library leaders. In the age of open-ended publishing, one must be an open-ended thinker. Learn the basics of design thinking and consider how they might be used to guide your projects and teams to success. Encounter new resources for designing user-centered solutions.


And,


Poster
Open and Secure: A Look At Information Security in Librarianship

Abstract:  Designed as a primer on information security management, this research aims to bridge librarianship to its IT counterparts and guide academic libraries to probe deeper into issues of privacy, security and authorized access.


While I ready my conference materials, David is trying to order a new cell phone to replace his broken Galaxy. He’s frustrated with the ordering process.

We do squats together. It’s exciting to see him getting back into fitness after a hiatus he attributes to the most recent bike accident. He then preaches the Dorian Yates philosophy, which he explains:

Blast a muscle group, medium to low weight. Nobody is successful in bodybuilding without going to failure. Not the case in power-lifting because you’ll break your body.

He talks about steroid use. “You can work out any part of your body that’s not tired from yesterday’s workout.” “It’s about the skill of learning to destroy your muscle.” He throws blood and lactic acid into the conversation, and talks about the difference between going into the gym following a piece of paper versus listening to your body. He does hip lifts off the ground while sharing his thoughts. He speaks of blasting his quads then his glutes.

We break for dinner, and then settle into our respective distractions.

I’m watching Mystic Pizza for the first time! David plays League. He’s wearing the flannel that belonged to my Grandpa. I unpacked it today. It feels good to see it. I am reminded of family – passed, present, and yet to come.

It turns to autumn in the movie, and I’m reminded of the seasonal changes around me.

This scene occurs, and David walks in the room after doing the dishes:

Image result for nympho scene mystic pizza
Jo faints at the altar and can’t commit to marrying Bill, despite loving him. They stay in a relationship. He asks Jo for commitment, Jo asks him for sex. Egged on by lusty Jo, he gets caught with his pants down by Jo’s Dad. He paints over her name on the boat with “NYMPHO”.

I tell him I’ve learned the word nympho. He gives me the side look. Multiple times.

As he exits the rooms, he pauses repeatedly,
smiling,
gives the look –
then continues on.

I can’t help laughing.

He retrieves two cups of hot lemon-ginger tea. The husbometer gets a big nighttime boost.

The boost helped after a low-scoring day in communication. That is to say, we talked about the Blasey-Ford-Kavanaugh fiasco and Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court. We also had a few skirmishes during the car inspection field trip. Tangent: I got my second NYC parking violation today. Apparently, you need to get your car inspected annually in New York state. The last ticket –illegible, in my defense– was for an expired inspection sticker. We got the car inspected in record time and David performed heroically. But he tried to explain his work to me and didn’t like that my oppositional remarks.

The columns go by (from left to right): Category, Date, Score (0-1, with .5 being average), Week. Sometimes I make notes in a fifth column on the right.

Sex (Quantity, Quality) 10/7/18 1 4
Communication 10/7/18 0.4 4
Chores 10/7/18 0.6 4
Fitness & Health 10/7/18 0.6 4
Cashflow 10/7/18 0.6 4
Friendship 10/7/18 0.6 4
Dealing w/ Everybody Else 10/7/18 0.5 4
Food 10/7/18 0.5 4
Little things 10/7/18 0.6 4

Only 17 minutes left of the movie.

YOUNG MATT DAMON. And the words:

Keep going to library, okay?

library

Sold. 100% SOLD. This may be my new favorite movie.

I finally upload the wedding photos to an album on the Facebook server farm. So many good memories. Let the likes roll.

Sauce

Homemade tomato sauce and Barilla veggie noodles is a staple for us. The homemade tomato sauce has been a go-to recipe for David in my time knowing him. Every grocery list seems to include canned whole tomatoes. He especially loves the Muir Glen brand.

How is it made? It’s pretty simple. That’s probably one of the reasons we go back to it so often. (That and we always have the ingredients).

Ingredients: 1 package mushrooms, 5-6 onions, (4) 28-ounce cans of whole tomatoes*, oil, salt and pepper.

*Feel free to use fresh tomatoes. If you do this, we have a friend who recommends roasting the sauce in the oven to bring out the flavor.

Tools: pot(s), stirring spoon, cutting board, knife

  1. Wash your hands.
  2. Cut the onions. Put them in oil, on heat.
  3. Cut the mushrooms. Add them to the onions.
  4. Open tomato cans. Add contents to separate pot. Squish whole tomatoes with your hands.
  5. Add tomatoes to onion and mushroom pot. Add salt and pepper. Mix.
  6. Let everything cook. Get your noodles cooking in the tomato squishing pot if you want to eat this as a meal tonight. The sauce should cook until it’s no longer watery. Taste it to tell if it’s done.

I’m updating the website to give the blog a more permanent role beyond the first 100 days (of marriage), and also to revive its primary purpose as my professional/personal corner of the web.

In the transition, I pulled some of the About page text from the about page. I am copy+pasting it here to restore its place in public:

How we met

David and I met in the aisle of the University of Connecticut’s Jorgensen Theatre on October 9, 2014,  after a lecture featuring eminent philosopher, Peter Singer.

David got his selfie with Peter Singer and ran out of the Jorgensen in time to find me unlocking my bike.

The first date? Lakeside in Coventry after my rowing practice. David brought risotto with homegrown garden veggies, and his canine companion, Russell.

Fast-forward four years.

We mastered the middle-distance relationship, survived an election season, and built an enduring friendship. Join us in this new adventure, and all the side-adventures along the way.

I love you, master of sauce.

Exchanging vows.
Exchanging vows in Vergennes, VT. David and I pictured with our officiant, Zarina Suarez O’Hagin. (September 15, 2018). Photo Credit: Sourinho Photography.

Congratulations, Brother!

I’m so excited for you guys!

I don’t know where I’d be without my bro. Zack, you absolutely understand the best and worst of me. I cherish my time with you and your capacity for living life fully. It is a great comfort to have another human being in the world who is cut from the same cloth. You’ve had my back from day 1 to day-now. We experienced together what marriage meant for our parents, and now we chart our own paths – with whole histories still to unfold. I love you so much and I’m so happy for you and Curtis.

I have to confess that I knew it was coming. At my wedding Curtis was talking about how best to stealthily size a ring for you. It is fun for me to look back on the photos from that weekend and pick out you two.

I am so proud of the man you have become, and I do not tell you that enough. You are thoughtful and smart, passionate and compassionate, talented and whimsical. You are honest and dependable, creative and wise.

To dispel bouquet toss mythology once and for all:

Meanwhile, in married-person-land…

David plays with the back-lighting on his new $80 keyboard. His performance on the husbometer tanked in the friendship category today because he solo-visited a venue that I wanted to check out together. Hello? Your curiosity got the best of you? What?

untitled-166-2
I think Curtis may be a positive role model for my handsome wildebeest.
Wildebeest_full
Action shot of David.

I love you guys. I’m excited to celebrate your love, and to share in it through family life.

In conclusion, a quick debrief on my wedding experience:

  • If you’re anything like me (and Zack, I know you are), you may never be more emotionally spent than on your wedding day. And not emotionally spent in a bad way! Just wall-hitting overwhelmed by the day’s end. It is the result of being surrounded by loved ones and in constant, profound-feeling moments. At the end of the reception, I felt it most intensely. There were things I simply hadn’t planned or prepared for – namely the breakdown and clean up of the reception, and the right amount of checks and cash to pay everyone. I slept maybe 4 hours the night before. Exhaustion set in. If you find yourself in this state, it’s O-K. Because, remember – you are literally surrounded by people who love you.

David is writing thank you notes at the bedroom desk while I draft this post. I would like to take a moment to write a quick cyber thanks to Corri and Mama Kim, who shuttled me away to the post-wedding moment of peace and quiet that I desperately needed; and to Allison and team, who picked up everything I left behind at the reception. To Altan – who gave us wedding night shelter when plans changed.

I am reminded of my brother once again, who also came to my rescue.

We were playing the shoe game during the reception. Right before the game started, someone was notified that a car needed to be moved and the caller read the license plate aloud. It was my car. I was mortified, though I think the broader audience was amused. My brother volunteered as tribute and I handed him my car keys.

untitled-204-2.jpg
I raise my shoe in toast to a guy who can move cars, and mountains.

I love you, brother.

untitled-331
I am so excited for your life together with Curtis.