In the morning, David and I returned the master bedroom to a sleep-deprived Mad.

Then David and I couch-cuddled, readied coffee, nommed on leftovers and chocolate-banana bread. Tom brought us to see Sophie and her team play in the national ultimate frisbee tournament.


After the Brutes’ frisbee victory, we found a nearby Mexican restaurant and placed a big order. We satisfied our appetites then dropped things at the frisbee team’s Airbnb before heading to Moonlight Beach for a swim in the Pacific.


We left Sophie with her team and traveled to Newport Beach to meet up with Caroline, Kristin and the rest of the Dougherty clan.

My laptop stays put away. Husbometer data tracking again postponed.

Leave No Trace

The flight consisted of:

  • reading
  • writing thank you notes
  • watching Leave No Trace
Movie poster for Leave No Trace.
Leave No Trace tells the story of a father and daughter who live off the grid in a Oregon state park. They are discovered and displaced. The father is struggling with PTSD, though succeeding at raising a strong, capable kid.

There was an empty middle seat in my row. I appreciated that the flight was direct from Newark to San Diego. I spiked my seltzer with orange juice, and chased it with tea. Pretzels were complimentary.

Mad picked me up. Our reunions are seldom now, and its been years since I’ve seen Paul.

The drive from the airport gave me a calming sense of coming home. It was good to see the San Diego city skyline again. I admired the speedometer in the mini cooper. We talked about homelessness. We pursued frozen yogurt, but the store closed on our arrival. Instead we ordered late night Chinese food and brought it home to eat. I decided to try eggplant in plum sauce.  Excitement held off my jet lag exhaustion. We slipped into our easy way of talking and being together. When I was ready to sleep, they insisted on my taking their king size bed.

In the morning, Paul was gone to work and Mad was restless on the couch. We traded places and she retreated to the dark bedroom. I napped on and off. I read For Whom the Bell Tolls, wrote a thank you note, and nibbled leftovers while sitting on the sidewalk in the California sun.

The evening brought many good things:

  • outdoor mall shopping excursion with Mad
  • ramen noodle dinner with Mad and Paul
  • airport pick-up with Paul
  • David!
  • car tour of San Diego and the navy base with Paul and David
  • hanging out, talking, eating leftovers
  • sleep!

I postponed logging husbometer data and the blog. I had to estimate and backdate content. The benchmarking period has come to a close. We found that the true average is nearer to 0.6 —

Congratulations, Brother!

I’m so excited for you guys!

I don’t know where I’d be without my bro. Zack, you absolutely understand the best and worst of me. I cherish my time with you and your capacity for living life fully. It is a great comfort to have another human being in the world who is cut from the same cloth. You’ve had my back from day 1 to day-now. We experienced together what marriage meant for our parents, and now we chart our own paths – with whole histories still to unfold. I love you so much and I’m so happy for you and Curtis.

I have to confess that I knew it was coming. At my wedding Curtis was talking about how best to stealthily size a ring for you. It is fun for me to look back on the photos from that weekend and pick out you two.

I am so proud of the man you have become, and I do not tell you that enough. You are thoughtful and smart, passionate and compassionate, talented and whimsical. You are honest and dependable, creative and wise.

To dispel bouquet toss mythology once and for all:

Meanwhile, in married-person-land…

David plays with the back-lighting on his new $80 keyboard. His performance on the husbometer tanked in the friendship category today because he solo-visited a venue that I wanted to check out together. Hello? Your curiosity got the best of you? What?

I think Curtis may be a positive role model for my handsome wildebeest.
Action shot of David.

I love you guys. I’m excited to celebrate your love, and to share in it through family life.

In conclusion, a quick debrief on my wedding experience:

  • If you’re anything like me (and Zack, I know you are), you may never be more emotionally spent than on your wedding day. And not emotionally spent in a bad way! Just wall-hitting overwhelmed by the day’s end. It is the result of being surrounded by loved ones and in constant, profound-feeling moments. At the end of the reception, I felt it most intensely. There were things I simply hadn’t planned or prepared for – namely the breakdown and clean up of the reception, and the right amount of checks and cash to pay everyone. I slept maybe 4 hours the night before. Exhaustion set in. If you find yourself in this state, it’s O-K. Because, remember – you are literally surrounded by people who love you.

David is writing thank you notes at the bedroom desk while I draft this post. I would like to take a moment to write a quick cyber thanks to Corri and Mama Kim, who shuttled me away to the post-wedding moment of peace and quiet that I desperately needed; and to Allison and team, who picked up everything I left behind at the reception. To Altan – who gave us wedding night shelter when plans changed.

I am reminded of my brother once again, who also came to my rescue.

We were playing the shoe game during the reception. Right before the game started, someone was notified that a car needed to be moved and the caller read the license plate aloud. It was my car. I was mortified, though I think the broader audience was amused. My brother volunteered as tribute and I handed him my car keys.

I raise my shoe in toast to a guy who can move cars, and mountains.

I love you, brother.

I am so excited for your life together with Curtis.




The Little Red Lighthouse and the Big Gray Bridge

The Little Red Lighthouse

GUYS! Did you know you can have a children’s book read to you on YouTube? Does life get any better? Does it‽

I can’t remember how I first heard about this lighthouse, but I wanted to visit it. I also meant to check out this book from the library.

Today was gorgeous weather. Summer is turning into autumn. The days are crisp.

David moved my car from a Monday to Tuesday parking spot while I waited with our bikes. I was angry to learn that I got a $65 ticket for having an outdated insurance sticker. We had to decode the ticket because it got strangely plastered to my windshield by rain. David led the way to Inwood Park, where we hoped to play lacrosse. I believe we took “the greenway along the Hudson”. We passed a lot of tennis, volleyball and basketball courts.

I’ve been living in the city since the beginning of July so, around 3 months. I’m still learning to find my way around. There’s a lot of little treasures.

En route to the bike path, we cut through a parade that was singing about Christ in Spanish.

Unfortunately, we never made it to our destination. We got turned around at the GW bridge, where the bike-way was closed.

The turnaround, however, caused us to encounter the little red lighthouse!

It was fat and red and jolly And VERY, VERY proud.

I was delighted. It turns out there is an annual festival to celebrate the lighthouse and it was yesterday. Next year, I would like to go.


That’s me!

David attempted to find another route to Inwood when we found ourselves in the middle of a Medieval Faire at Fort Tyron Park! It was also my first time at that park. It was beautiful, if crowded. It was fun to see all the costumed people. David hates crowds. He patiently waited along a shaded walkway near the New Leaf restaurant while I fetched food from vendors. For $19, I got two big risotto balls (one mushroom, one pesto), a mexican-greek salad mezcla, and a Gatorade.

The bike ride featured an ideal mix of wind, sunshine, and physicality. City riding requires great attentiveness. We had a dangerous highway moment. I was following David when we ended up on what felt like a freeway on and off ramp. It was crowded with cars.

We came home to our roommate’s mom. I enjoyed her company while making tortilla chips.

David and I watched the Giants play the Saints. We rounded out the night writing thank you cards, nomming pasta with homemade sauce, gaming and blogging.

The day was sprinkled with playtime, for which you’ll note the husbometer is once again climbing.

Atta boy, David.


Gravity and apples.
Gotta be able to have fun together.
Bro support

Tom Time

“Work from home”. Work from home. Trying to figure out where I stand on the ~~work from home~~ phenomenon.

Tom is having TGIF time with David and I tonight at the apartment. D talks about still waiting for the data team to get back to him. He compliments me aloud on being a hard worker. I reflect again on my work-from-home day and I think: hmmph. Could have performed better.

But it was nice to have David home as early distraction, to sleep in and avoid my 1-1.5 hour subway commute each way, to clean up my living space, to get whatever food whenever I wanted it. It was nice to think about doing local errands, to think about going to the gym whenever I felt ready. It was nice to play my music loudly, to be lazy about getting dressed, to be in solitude.

I think “working from home” is an amazing accommodation. However, without a powerful deadline as driving force, working from home accommodates distractions.

Wifi drops off and the boys jump to my aid. They pounce on the troubleshooting feature in a moment that is part demo – part rescue. A browser debate begins about using Chrome versus Edge. We open the Task Manager to check Chrome’s CPU performance, etc.

I extend my hand to David. He cracks one of my knuckles. It sounds off in a loud POP! and I quickly withdraw my hand. A new debate emerges.

“I’ve only cracked you like ten times.”

My knuckles strongly disagree.

The boys begin building David’s wedding present from Tom. It’s a fancy computer. What do you call this computer? I ask.

“I haven’t named it yet. Her, I should say.”

Her identity unfolds. The boys throw around “fastest computer on the market” “looking at the benchmarks” and “the first i9”.

I love the language of the project. Words like processor, motherboard, cooling system, ram, power, random connectors.

And my favorite: whosie-whatsit.

David and Tom read the instruction manuals. David says,

“This is good copy. No big words in there. No big words at all.”

You can tell David is happy. The bro time is good for him.

David's favorite photo moment. Tom gets emotional during best man speech.
David’s favorite wedding photo moment. Tom gets emotional during best man speech.

Husbometer doing just fine:

Weeks Average of Score
1 0.62
2 0.59
Grand Total 0.61

I’m excited to start making line graphs.

Slow Reveal: Wedding Photos, Political Truth, Work Life

Today consisted of:

  • Hard-to-miss Kavanaugh-Blasey testimony on Capitol Hill
  • Powerful meeting with my ALA / LLAMA mentor, Karen
    • Debriefing on big life events
    • Getting my web portfolio up and running again, and looking at samples together
    • Discussing career strategy
  • Political action and design work for EveryLibrary at the Brooklyn office with PC
    • Planning for VoteLibraries month (October)
    • Moments of peace: Indian food leftovers, yoga on the roof deck (gorgeous weather)
  • Receiving wedding photos by Sourinho Photography!
  • Extended subway ride home (experimenting with the B train)
  • More Indian food, debrief with David, cuddling decompression, tea time
  • And of course…. HUSBOMETER.
    • GEETTTTT, DATAAAAAA!!!! **rawwrrrrrr**

Okay. That is all. You can get an extra wedding photo preview for putting up with me and this post.

Bonus sneak peak:

Wedding day prep
Putting up with me 101: the bridespeople prep crew. Photo by Monique Sourinho.

I plan to do a slow reveal of all high res photos via the blog during the first 100 days… which I’ve calculated to end…


December 24th! Merry Christmas.