Taking a break from the husbometer has had a negative effect on my eagerness to blog. Data-tracking used to be a quick entry point for reflection on the day and on my marriage. Despite viable criticisms from people whose opinions I respect, I believe I will return to it at the 2/3 mark. One hundred days is not really so many.
Maybe there are better, healthier forms of relationship assessment? Really, I just started “The First 100 Days (of Marriage)” blogging project for fun. It never felt like anything but that… until people started having opinions.
Here’s a relationship assessment form that I found from a quick internet search. A sampling of the questions:
Areas of our relationship that our working well for me? All the cuddles, the future planning, the small excitements and happinesses. Having a cheerleader and a frank critic all wrapped up in one smart human. Who gives me so much love, and sprinkles in surprising historical references.
Scrolling through the rest of the questions, I feel like I have so much to be grateful for —
Madisen calls to talk about the pitfalls of keeping a husbometer. And with a quick, effectively argued blow – the husbometer becomes a private off-blog project (that will probably die a quiet death at the 100 day mark). Mad says the world doesn’t need to know all that, David doesn’t need to see that, and a positive frame of mind is the most important thing. Not the data. She talked about men that would come into the bar and talk about their unhappy wives, wives qualitatively and quantitatively unhappy with something in the marriage. No one needs to publicly wonder whether honeymoon highs are coming, rather need to remember and cherish all the little honeymoon highs throughout the day, the week, the year – and foster those into existence.
My phone call with Mad started with a request for private conversation, and that situation caused a tension that’s difficult to explain and very relevant to the events of the day.
Perhaps I’ve been lazy with my stream-of-conscious, daily-reporting tone for the blog. Perhaps I should experiment with different styles of writing.
In closing, some (non-data) highlights from the day:
- Having a slow departure, big breakfast kind of morning
- Watching Anne of Green Gables DVD (surprise side 2!) from the library on my laptop during the train ride
- Thinking back on last night’s dinner with David and Omo
- Having a really productive day at work (…using Adobe Premiere again to video edit!)
- Free pumpkin pie with whipped cream! First pumpkin pie of the year
- Having a phone call with a lost friend
- Being given a seat on the subway
- Coming home to David
- Peaceful yoga and shower