Life

I slept well last night.

While I spend time with my mom, David and I are still apart. We’ve returned to our middle distance relationship habit of communicating via Google Chat.

Mom is doing better. Her walking improved and the wound-draining slowed.

I filled my day with mini projects from work, school and life around me.

Today’s work-related Google searches:

“learn to love social media scheduling”

“how to have a regular relationship with social media for your business”

“how to post regularly on social media and enjoy it”

“hate doing social media scheduling?”

My current class is challenging me to think about library planning, marketing and assessment – and how that can be applied to my current political action work for libraries.

Other items on the highlights reel:

  • making marshmallows in the fireplace
  • driving old blue and hiking in the UConn Forest
  • attending online synchronous class session
  • veggies burgers and spaghetti
  • finally starting laundry from the California trip

I liked hearing the sound of UConn marching band rehearsal through the woods during my hike. I messaged with David about career and family planning.

Plugging along with husbometer data from a distance. I guess I should leave categories blank when we’re doing distance?

Sex (Quantity, Quality) 10/23/18 6
Communication 10/23/18 0.6 6
Chores 10/23/18 6
Fitness & Health 10/23/18 6
Cashflow 10/23/18 6
Friendship 10/23/18 0.6 6
Dealing w/ Everybody Else 10/23/18 0.6 6
Food 10/23/18 6
Little things 10/23/18 0.5 6

It causes me to realize that my husbometer categories are flawed. Reality may necessarily cause us to break from reporting in some of these categories. It also challenges me to consider management of my own expectations. What would happen if I ranked these categories in terms of importance to me? Why would I rank them that way?

  1. Communication
  2. Fitness and health
  3. Friendship

The “little things” and “friendship” categories are similar, I’m realizing. In recording data, I’ve also noted a relationship between the friendship and communication categories.

Communication is increasingly important to me. So much revolves around communication: emotions, trust, sense of friendship, support, self, and future direction.

Fitness and health comes next. We lose a lot without some steady investment in that category. Sex is related to this category, and I think I take it for granted that this category consistently skews above-average…

My criteria for rating each category is a little willy-nilly. It’s based on memory and instinct.

Oww-y!

Today, I journeyed home to be with my mom. She is recovering from surgery.

The drive went quickly. I listened to video lectures for my online coursework. Near the end of the drive, I ran an errand in Ellington for mom. After getting medicine from the vet, I stopped off to explore the local library.

Hall Memorial Library

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Impressive board game and cake pan circulating collections!

Mom and I caught up. To convey her pain, she told a story. She was passed out post-surgery. Mitch said she sleep-talked through her deep sleep, saying,

oww-y, oww-y, owww 

After lunch with mom, I settled into computerland. Zack visited with Duke, and I completed my first GoodReads book review! (Something I hope to continue doing to better develop my librarian powers of reading-recommendation).

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway.
For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway. Edition borrowed from my husband’s family.

It felt good to catch up with the husbometer and dig into the blog today. In my reports of daily life, I’ve lost sight of my earlier intention to have a somewhat strategic first 100 days of marriage. A brainstorm:

  • Draft post-nuptial agreement
  • Finish the book given to us by the attorney friend of David’s Aunt Joss
  • Continue tracking husbometer data
  • Review husbometer data with David
  • Create strategies for the lower performing categories
  • Articulate career and finance goals

Emotionally? We’re doing okay. A lot of love, excitement, and little moments. We’re still learning to communicate effectively with each other, and that may be a lifelong project. The commitment part of things is the steel frame in my vision for the future. David uses the word “coalescing”, and I like that.

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