This is my first late daily post, which will be backdated.

I got swept away in my work. I stayed late at the Brooklyn office designing a poster for volunteer recruitment. We need volunteers to help with our fundraising day at EveryLibrary. Charidy is working with us to plan the event and my poster is modeled after a design in their best practices presentation. Charidy calls volunteers “influencers” in their training materials.

The design is inspired by a poster in the volunteer management best practices presentation by Charidy.
The design is inspired by a poster in the volunteer management best practices presentation by Charidy.

From work, I went straight to open scrimmage volleyball from 7:00 – 10:30. The practice started late and ended early, but we were all very tired by the end of it. I made a new friend named Peter. We warmed up together. I doubt I will ever see him again. Regarding volleyball, he said he is “going back into retirement”. I may do the same, except for the occasional scrimmage.

It was nice to get home, and I arrived around 11. David was deep in League of Legends. Anya arrived home shortly after me. We ate together and had conversation about life change. She told me about rehearsals and her fall schedule at Julliard. She is starring in A Doll’s House. David joined us when his game ended. We rang in the new day together at 12:00.

The husbometer data was logged, though late.

We are fast approaching the end of the “benchmarking period” for the first 100 days of marriage. I still don’t really know the significance of the benchmarking period, but I think our early intention was to establish a baseline for the husbometer.


Actual footage of me today? Where has my energy gone?

I choose a wedding photo for this post. As I settle on a photo from the circle dance at our reception, I wonder how all our people are doing.

David plays League of Legends beside me. “Really laid my body on the line that game,” he says, coming out of a defeat.

No big events today. Nice cuddle moments, some small accomplishments, nursing my health. Energy levels are way below average. I’m growing excited for an upcoming yet unplanned trip to California. I’m worried about pest problems in the apartment.

Husbometer is making a rebound today. Some observations:

  • overall data clustering around an average of .6
  • only 2 data points falling below .5

Thinking about data… I would like to take advantage of my access while I’m still a graduate student at Syracuse. There are so many skills still to gain…

Time to do my (100) pre-bed squats. Will this stay a ritual? Here’s the squatting soundtrack (also on theme for today):


Congratulations, Brother!

I’m so excited for you guys!

I don’t know where I’d be without my bro. Zack, you absolutely understand the best and worst of me. I cherish my time with you and your capacity for living life fully. It is a great comfort to have another human being in the world who is cut from the same cloth. You’ve had my back from day 1 to day-now. We experienced together what marriage meant for our parents, and now we chart our own paths – with whole histories still to unfold. I love you so much and I’m so happy for you and Curtis.

I have to confess that I knew it was coming. At my wedding Curtis was talking about how best to stealthily size a ring for you. It is fun for me to look back on the photos from that weekend and pick out you two.

I am so proud of the man you have become, and I do not tell you that enough. You are thoughtful and smart, passionate and compassionate, talented and whimsical. You are honest and dependable, creative and wise.

To dispel bouquet toss mythology once and for all:

Meanwhile, in married-person-land…

David plays with the back-lighting on his new $80 keyboard. His performance on the husbometer tanked in the friendship category today because he solo-visited a venue that I wanted to check out together. Hello? Your curiosity got the best of you? What?

I think Curtis may be a positive role model for my handsome wildebeest.
Action shot of David.

I love you guys. I’m excited to celebrate your love, and to share in it through family life.

In conclusion, a quick debrief on my wedding experience:

  • If you’re anything like me (and Zack, I know you are), you may never be more emotionally spent than on your wedding day. And not emotionally spent in a bad way! Just wall-hitting overwhelmed by the day’s end. It is the result of being surrounded by loved ones and in constant, profound-feeling moments. At the end of the reception, I felt it most intensely. There were things I simply hadn’t planned or prepared for – namely the breakdown and clean up of the reception, and the right amount of checks and cash to pay everyone. I slept maybe 4 hours the night before. Exhaustion set in. If you find yourself in this state, it’s O-K. Because, remember – you are literally surrounded by people who love you.

David is writing thank you notes at the bedroom desk while I draft this post. I would like to take a moment to write a quick cyber thanks to Corri and Mama Kim, who shuttled me away to the post-wedding moment of peace and quiet that I desperately needed; and to Allison and team, who picked up everything I left behind at the reception. To Altan – who gave us wedding night shelter when plans changed.

I am reminded of my brother once again, who also came to my rescue.

We were playing the shoe game during the reception. Right before the game started, someone was notified that a car needed to be moved and the caller read the license plate aloud. It was my car. I was mortified, though I think the broader audience was amused. My brother volunteered as tribute and I handed him my car keys.

I raise my shoe in toast to a guy who can move cars, and mountains.

I love you, brother.

I am so excited for your life together with Curtis.




The Little Red Lighthouse and the Big Gray Bridge

The Little Red Lighthouse

GUYS! Did you know you can have a children’s book read to you on YouTube? Does life get any better? Does it‽

I can’t remember how I first heard about this lighthouse, but I wanted to visit it. I also meant to check out this book from the library.

Today was gorgeous weather. Summer is turning into autumn. The days are crisp.

David moved my car from a Monday to Tuesday parking spot while I waited with our bikes. I was angry to learn that I got a $65 ticket for having an outdated insurance sticker. We had to decode the ticket because it got strangely plastered to my windshield by rain. David led the way to Inwood Park, where we hoped to play lacrosse. I believe we took “the greenway along the Hudson”. We passed a lot of tennis, volleyball and basketball courts.

I’ve been living in the city since the beginning of July so, around 3 months. I’m still learning to find my way around. There’s a lot of little treasures.

En route to the bike path, we cut through a parade that was singing about Christ in Spanish.

Unfortunately, we never made it to our destination. We got turned around at the GW bridge, where the bike-way was closed.

The turnaround, however, caused us to encounter the little red lighthouse!

It was fat and red and jolly And VERY, VERY proud.

I was delighted. It turns out there is an annual festival to celebrate the lighthouse and it was yesterday. Next year, I would like to go.


That’s me!

David attempted to find another route to Inwood when we found ourselves in the middle of a Medieval Faire at Fort Tyron Park! It was also my first time at that park. It was beautiful, if crowded. It was fun to see all the costumed people. David hates crowds. He patiently waited along a shaded walkway near the New Leaf restaurant while I fetched food from vendors. For $19, I got two big risotto balls (one mushroom, one pesto), a mexican-greek salad mezcla, and a Gatorade.

The bike ride featured an ideal mix of wind, sunshine, and physicality. City riding requires great attentiveness. We had a dangerous highway moment. I was following David when we ended up on what felt like a freeway on and off ramp. It was crowded with cars.

We came home to our roommate’s mom. I enjoyed her company while making tortilla chips.

David and I watched the Giants play the Saints. We rounded out the night writing thank you cards, nomming pasta with homemade sauce, gaming and blogging.

The day was sprinkled with playtime, for which you’ll note the husbometer is once again climbing.

Atta boy, David.


Gravity and apples.
Gotta be able to have fun together.
Thiago, Sam, Kristen, Altan and Caroline in the backyard of the Emerson guest house.

Long Day

Today was a long day. Most weekend days start or move towards a sense of feeling refreshed. Not this weekend. Tom is still here. The boys spent the day working on the new computer and we made a group voyage to Greenwich so they could help their mom while she’s recovering from surgery. I think we’re all tired.

The new computer?

She’s fast and has all kinds of sexy lighting.

We’ve been living on takeout Indian food since my Wednesday night class. Groceries are sparse. The fullness of the cabinets and fridge (roomie food included) has been intimidating me. But now we’re starting to run out of the staples: bread, eggs, milk, fresh veggies, grains, seltzer, fruit, chocolate.

It was nice to see Thiago again today during the Greenwich voyage. He has the best stories and an infectiously fun-loving vibe. See if you can spot him in the featured photo for this post.

It’s been so long since I really used Excel! Playing with graph-generating functions really gets my nostalgia going. Are my math and logic skills getting rusty?

I wish y’all could play with the Excel functionality here. Pivot tables and interactive data for life. 

Making line charts is fun. It looks like mountains!

Happy two weeks matrimony, hubby. On the 33rd day, we’ll do a check-in on our intention to do some data benchmarking.

Bro support

Tom Time

“Work from home”. Work from home. Trying to figure out where I stand on the ~~work from home~~ phenomenon.

Tom is having TGIF time with David and I tonight at the apartment. D talks about still waiting for the data team to get back to him. He compliments me aloud on being a hard worker. I reflect again on my work-from-home day and I think: hmmph. Could have performed better.

But it was nice to have David home as early distraction, to sleep in and avoid my 1-1.5 hour subway commute each way, to clean up my living space, to get whatever food whenever I wanted it. It was nice to think about doing local errands, to think about going to the gym whenever I felt ready. It was nice to play my music loudly, to be lazy about getting dressed, to be in solitude.

I think “working from home” is an amazing accommodation. However, without a powerful deadline as driving force, working from home accommodates distractions.

Wifi drops off and the boys jump to my aid. They pounce on the troubleshooting feature in a moment that is part demo – part rescue. A browser debate begins about using Chrome versus Edge. We open the Task Manager to check Chrome’s CPU performance, etc.

I extend my hand to David. He cracks one of my knuckles. It sounds off in a loud POP! and I quickly withdraw my hand. A new debate emerges.

“I’ve only cracked you like ten times.”

My knuckles strongly disagree.

The boys begin building David’s wedding present from Tom. It’s a fancy computer. What do you call this computer? I ask.

“I haven’t named it yet. Her, I should say.”

Her identity unfolds. The boys throw around “fastest computer on the market” “looking at the benchmarks” and “the first i9”.

I love the language of the project. Words like processor, motherboard, cooling system, ram, power, random connectors.

And my favorite: whosie-whatsit.

David and Tom read the instruction manuals. David says,

“This is good copy. No big words in there. No big words at all.”

You can tell David is happy. The bro time is good for him.

David's favorite photo moment. Tom gets emotional during best man speech.
David’s favorite wedding photo moment. Tom gets emotional during best man speech.

Husbometer doing just fine:

Weeks Average of Score
1 0.62
2 0.59
Grand Total 0.61

I’m excited to start making line graphs.

Slow Reveal: Wedding Photos, Political Truth, Work Life

Today consisted of:

  • Hard-to-miss Kavanaugh-Blasey testimony on Capitol Hill
  • Powerful meeting with my ALA / LLAMA mentor, Karen
    • Debriefing on big life events
    • Getting my web portfolio up and running again, and looking at samples together
    • Discussing career strategy
  • Political action and design work for EveryLibrary at the Brooklyn office with PC
    • Planning for VoteLibraries month (October)
    • Moments of peace: Indian food leftovers, yoga on the roof deck (gorgeous weather)
  • Receiving wedding photos by Sourinho Photography!
  • Extended subway ride home (experimenting with the B train)
  • More Indian food, debrief with David, cuddling decompression, tea time
  • And of course…. HUSBOMETER.
    • GEETTTTT, DATAAAAAA!!!! **rawwrrrrrr**

Okay. That is all. You can get an extra wedding photo preview for putting up with me and this post.

Bonus sneak peak:

Wedding day prep
Putting up with me 101: the bridespeople prep crew. Photo by Monique Sourinho.

I plan to do a slow reveal of all high res photos via the blog during the first 100 days… which I’ve calculated to end…


December 24th! Merry Christmas.

Lady Enjoying a Nap by John Brighenti



Dates Average of Score Average of Score
Week 1 Week 1 0.62
9/16/2018 0.66 Week 2 0.59
9/17/2018 0.64 Grand Total 0.61
9/18/2018 0.72
9/19/2018 0.61
9/20/2018 0.60
9/21/2018 0.57
9/22/2018 0.56
Week 2
9/23/2018 0.60
9/24/2018 0.58
9/25/2018 0.58
9/26/2018 0.62
Grand Total 0.61

David reads The Screwtape Letters aloud beside me. It’s been a busy day. I want to blog about my work.

Tom arrives with late night gifts. The room explodes with expensive computer components and my weird mood.

The boys chill for a little while. I feed Tom an egg sandwich and he trades work stories about Joe the superintendent.


Interesting Development

I would also like to document the phenomenon where you feel unexpected glee at finding a familiar face in the wilds of New York City. While walking home from re-parking the car this morning, I was greeted by the program director for our local community garden.  I held a leftover hydrangea and grass bouquet from the wedding, which I retrieved from the car. I spaced out while passing the empty corner storefront, wondering what might go well there, when Tim said, “Hi”!

“Glad to see you!” I said.

My neighborhood is starting to feel more neighborhood-y.

On an altogether different note, I need to set some intentional perimeters around privacy when it comes to daily blogging. I’ve started to do some research:

A conflict arose today which I want to – but am not yet at liberty to – discuss.

The husbometer is steady.


Elephants being loving

Photos and Risotto

9.24.2018 10:47 PM
New York City apartment
[I don’t think the default metadata is working on the blog.]

I’m having more fun with photos tonight than writing. I’ve been digging into the archives. I went looking for photos of Zach.

It’s been an emotional day. Looking back over the whole thing, I have a very clear realization:

Waking up next to David is the best.

I hope I still get feelings like that – moments of appreciation – when we’ve made it deep into the future.

Today had me thinking about deep into the future. Nothing is guaranteed.

On my commute to work (-it was good to be back-), Kristin messaged me. I learned about the sudden death of a friend and former coworker from UConn Outdoors, Zach. Last week he’s congratulating me on my wedding, this week he’s gone.

I also found this photo of my grandparents. I lost my grandma this month last year, and my grandpa in the following spring.


Grief is a strange thing. Grief. Is that the right word to describe it?


On a different note, David got extra communication points on the husbometer today. He came to me about messaging with his former long term girlfriend.

That conversation was preceded by a team-cooked dinner, David cleaning the kitchen, and a boosterino from the internet guy (ethernet speeds now up to 430mbps). We gave the Spectrum guy a beer and a small batch of risotto.

David says there’s two schools of thought when it comes to making risotto:

There’s the people who believe you need to babysit it the whole time, like 45 minutes stirring it. OR – you “just put everything in like rice pilaf”.

(He says there’s two schools of thought, and he’s in the latter… but really, we spent 45 minutes babysitting the risotto.)

Here’s the lazy man’s version of the family recipe:

  1. Pre-slice your vegetables. Because you’re smarter than the cook that wrote this.
  2. Brown the uncooked risotto rice in butter. For a medium-normal sized pan, that’s like 2 tbsp of butter. Take your time with those grains. Low heat and lots of love is where it’s at (where “lots of love” means attentive, well-paced stirring – with intervals of rest for browning).
  3. Is it scrumptiously golden? Ay? Good work. Now it’s time to add your (WARM-ROOM TEMP) white wine ration. We did about half a water bottle’s worth.
  4. Now let that wine evaporate and get some vegetables cooking in another pan. You’ll add those to the finished risotto later. Bonus points if the veggies are from your garden, or your family’s garden. (We gave our veggies a little water to prevent from sticking, and then later added a little oil. Not sure what this method of cooking is called.) Take care of it until the risotto is done.
  5. Hungry yet? Too bad. Let that bad boy cook. Start adding (warm-room temp) broth to the risotto once the wine has evaporated. Keep doing this gradually as it evaporates off or gets absorbed. The rice will start to poof. You will be stirring and adding broth for a little while, so feel free to crank some jams and chill. How much broth will you add? I’m not entirely sure, but David seems to be of the disposition that there is never enough broth for the recipe. So best have a lot on hand. Like at least a carton’s worth.
  6. Eventually you will taste the risotto to see if it’s done. You won’t know what done tastes like, so you will ask your husband. He will ask you if it tastes crunchy and you will respond indecisively and use that as an excuse to try another bite. You will tell him “kinda”. And he will tell you it’s ready and try a bite for himself.

Voila! Ingredients: risotto rice, butter, (room temp) white wine, vegetables, (room temp) veggie broth. Random water and oil, also.

Post edited 9.25.2018 to exclude some parenthetical commentary of the scorched earth tone, paragraph 8.